by Stuart on May 28th, 2012
His latest column in the Sunday Times:
I am a child of the ’70s and ’80s. It was a kinder, gentler time.
It was the era of The Beatles, “make love, not war” and all things pacifist and pure. I was brought up on good, strong values such as respect, prayer and generosity. But most of all, I was brought up on a steady staple diet of filthy, rotten lies. Allow me to expatiate.
When I was growing up I had a circle of grown-ups who formed a laager around me that would have made Piet Retief proud. They consisted of my folks, my aunts, uncles, catechism teachers, school teachers, Boy Scout instructors and an assortment of Catholic priests who came and went in and out of my life.
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by Stuart on May 24th, 2012
Burnet Media would like to recognise the generosity of David Bullard in donating royalties of R34 500 from his latest book, Out To Lunch…Ungagged, to the Cornucopia charity.
Cornucopia stands for the horn of plenty, or the horn of outpouring and abundance. The charity has been around since 1993 and has been actively revived since 2006, helping those from all walks of life in whatever way they are able to do so. Their main aim is to uplift people who have been beaten by life, to give them a sense of belonging, to give them their dignity back and to improve their self-confidence and self-worth. An important part of their charity is to help people back onto their feet again so that they can contribute to their own lives, their family’s lives and to society.
Cornucopia work from a premises in Benoni and support their local community, although they also support homes outside of their area. For more information, visit www.cornucopiacharity.co.za.
Including royalties of his last three books, David has now donated R450 000 to various charities. Apart from writing the iconic Out to Lunch column for the Sunday Times for 14 years, David has also written on subjects as diverse as cars, opera, food, wine, travel, being shot at and stainless steel. Out To Lunch…Ungagged is available from all good bookstores, and also on Kindle.
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by Stuart on May 17th, 2012

His latest column in the Sunday Times:
Sometimes the worst crime is getting caught. The international war against drugs is possibly the worst waste of resources on the planet next to the so-called war on terror.
The fact of the matter is that human beings like to sniff, shoot up or imbibe substances that suspend their reality for a while. Even in countries such as Malaysia that are notorious for their lack of tolerance for any drug use, I bet the citizens have discovered that if you dry goat droppings, grind the pellets into powder, and add some turmeric in just the right proportions, you get a really good buzz. (Do not try this at home.)
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by Stuart on May 14th, 2012

From garnering acclaim as the ‘Accidental Academic’ to working the newsrooms of Al Jazeera in the exotic location of Doha, Azad Essa’s latest venture is set to see him break into the Indian subcontinent market. His book,
Zuma’s Bastard, has been adapted by HarperCollins India.
When Azad first released Zuma’s Bastard, we knew that it was bound to get people talking, if not in the president’s bedroom then at least in the SA book industry. With controversial subject matter, brash and insightful opinions, a foreword by Ferial Haffajee and an innovative underground marketing campaign to back it up (with 3,000 members and counting on the Facebook page), Zuma’s Bastard sounded the welcome call of a critical voice of the next generation.
The Moslems Are Coming is a series of adapted writings from his award-winning Accidental Academic Thought Leader blog, tackling race and religion head-on, giving fresh insight into the Israel-Palestine conflict, casting new light on old sterotypes, venting the frustrations and fears of the next generation – and ultimately offering us all hope for the future.
The cover for The Moslems Are Coming contains the same edgy, raw and brazen feel that made the Zuma’s Bastard cover such a visual success. Azad looks set to break boundaries with his latest publication. Follow all the discussions around Azad’s new book with the Twitter hashtag #MoslemsAreComing.
About the author:
Azad Essa is a journalist, columnist and aspiring filmmaker. He completed a multinational Global Studies MA in 2005 and spent several years in South African academia before launching his journalism career. He calls Durban home, but is currently working for the Al Jazeera Network in Doha, Qatar.
Praise for Zuma’s Bastard:
“Azad is a journalist for the 21st century. He is at the beginning of a professional life of activism, action and a whole lot of fun. I have no doubt that this will be the first book of many. I am honoured to be associated with it” – Ferial Haffajee, City Press editor-in-chief
“At once tjatjarag and lyrical, the digitally compressed and accelerated voice of a South Africa that no media tribunal could ever silence” – Nic Dawes, editor-in-chief Mail & Guardian
“Azad manages to weave the uncomfortable contradictions and truths of our fractured society into easy flowing, fast-paced prose… [His] writing shows sensitivity and depth, hooking you from the first paragraph and leaving you wanting more. This is insight. It’s a fresh, youthful take on one of the most complex, frustrating and interesting countries in the world. The book pays homage to its roots as a blog – showing a rich mix of strong opinion with breezy and accessible writing” – Matthew Buckland, Thought Leader founder and publisher of Memeburn.com
“The real power in this collection lies in its author’s age: the book is a missive from the generation who don’t remember apartheid, and it’s got a lot to say to those of us who do. If Essa is any indication, the next crop of writers is exactly what South Africa needs – the man is abrasive, engaged, uncowed” – Kevin Bloom, journalist and author of Ways of Staying
“Zuma’s Bastard compellingly offers fresh ideas to tired problems with a keenness and engagement that, I think, makes Azad one of the most lucid voices of our generation” – Khadija Patel, Khadijapatel.co.za
“Azad Essa, a Bollywood-soaked, Indian-battered, black South African-tinged, accidental academic and incidental journalist – who has seen India and Kashmir, India better, in Kashmir, Pakistan, the so-called Middle East and Europe – leaves no holy cows untaunted – nay he even imagines them as beefburgers… His popularity is catching but the moral questions he asks of us cannot be sidestepped. Read this book, buy the T-shirt, be with it and get angry because the author takes his jokes (often us) seriously” – Professor Ari Sitas, Head of Sociology, UCT
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by Stuart on May 8th, 2012

His latest column in the Sunday Times:
Why small-talking strangers strike fear in my soul. I tragically found myself seated inside one of those torture chambers euphemistically referred to as doctors’ waiting rooms the other day.
As if the torment of watching the clock strike 11.40am while waiting for your 11am appointment is not sufficient, they always keep a copy of Chiropractor Monthly from 1999 next to a copy of Farmer’s Weekly on the coffee table to complete your agony.
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by Stuart on May 4th, 2012

His latest column in the Sunday Times:
My veneer of composure is as thick as a layer of soap. I wonder how many people saw the footage of that spine-chilling road-rage incident in Bloemfontein a few weeks ago.A friend showed it to me on YouTube and shivers shot down my yellow spine. I’ll tell you this, I’m never walking on a Bloem pavement ever again, even if it means riding on horseback. Just in case you’re a mole rat that’s just surfaced – street CCTV cameras captured a taxi driver accidentally hitting a pedestrian crossing a street. Or so it seems. But then the taxi stops, swerves towards the pedestrian, now on the sidewalk, and smashes him into the ground.
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by Stuart on Apr 30th, 2012
The South African bestseller, The Racist’s Guide to the People of South Africa, has been adapted for stage, with actor and comedian Sivuyile ‘Siv’ Ngesi taking the lead in the one-man show.
Siv will debut the show, titled The Race Card, at the Grahamstown National Arts Festival, from the 28th of June to the 8th of July, with a national tour also planned. Other comics may be shying away from issues of race, but as a comedian, Siv isn’t afraid to embrace the topic and create an atmosphere where we’re allowed to laugh at our differences. The self-proclaimed ‘Ace of Race’ wants to “own the topic of race”, and on reading Racist’s Guide immediately felt drawn to the content which has since led to the collaboration between Burnet Media and himself.
Siv currently performs as an actor, MC and comedian and will also be in a movie to be released soon, titled Copposites, alongside Rob Van Vuuren. Siv is well-known for performing in Dekaf, which is directed by David Newton and has enjoyed considerable success on the comedy circuit.
The Racist’s Guide to the People of South Africa is a politically incorrect, comprehensively unscientific and exceptionally funny “guidebook” that identifies – and pokes fun at – the people of the Rainbow Nation, the Racist’s Guide is written for all the South Africans it parodies. The book is satirical to its core, noting from the start that “Blacks”, “English Whites”, “Afrikaners”, “Coloureds”, “Indians” and “Miscellaneous” are the primary races to be encountered in the land. It is without a doubt required reading for all South Africans so that they might discover the answer to the country’s many pressing racial issues.
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by Stuart on Apr 25th, 2012
Professors John Cartwright and Clifford Shearing write about building safety in South African communities.
How does peace grow? How do we build safety in a community? Who do we turn to? Well, of course, there are police (to catch the criminals and prepare the evidence against them), the courts (to give them a fair trial) and the prisons (to keep them away from society in the hope that they will come out better citizens than when they went in).
However, there are two problems with this.
First, there are severe problems in all three arms of the criminal justice system: lack of professionalism, incompetence and corruption.
Second, even if the criminal justice system were consistently excellent in all its operations (and we know that there are some very professional people in all its branches), it still wouldn’t be enough.
The reason is that we cannot build peace and safety by law enforcement alone. Effective law enforcement may be able to “manage” and limit disorder to a reasonably acceptable level, but the relative absence of disorder is not the same as peace and safety for all.
The National Development Plan 2030 report of the National Planning Commission is very clear on this.
It states: “It is necessary to move from a narrow law enforcement approach to crime and safety to a focus on identifying and removing the root causes of crime. To achieve this, a wider range of state and non-state capacities will need to be mobilised at all levels, which requires shifting to an integrated approach, with active citizen involvement and co-responsibility.”
Similarly, US scholars Todd R Clear and John R Hamilton jr insist (in their 2011 book, Community Justice) that “formal systems of social control, such as the criminal justice system, are not the main mechanisms of public safety. Rather, informal social controls – families, neighbours and friendship relations – form the most important foundation for public safety.”
What does this mean in practice?
First, let’s think a bit more clearly and fully about what we mean by “peace and safety”. We have become so accustomed to locking up, looking over our shoulders and tapping in alarm codes that we have shrunk the horizons of our imagination and have come to think of this anxious state of mind as normal. Let us remember how to dream: if community safety and personal safety can be something more dynamic and more satisfying than the mere absence of disorder, what would it feel like and look like?
For example, I would go for an evening walk without my stick, my granddaughter could walk safely to the corner café, and I could sleep on the ground floor with my window open and unbarred. Everyone would stop at red lights. And so on.
If we don’t have such a vision of the state of personal and communal well-being that we would like to achieve, how can we begin to plot the route to get there?
This column was first published in the Daily News on the 16th of April. Click here for the full column.
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by Stuart on Apr 24th, 2012

His latest column in the Sunday Times:
So I’m frantically searching the whole house for the TV remote the other afternoon. After satisfying myself that I couldn’t find it, I did what every husband does in these situations. I phoned my wife.
Everybody knows that wives’ ovaries double as GPS devices that can locate anything. My plan was foiled by the major frustration of my life: she didn’t pick up. And I know exactly why. Her phone was ringing underneath that pile of Woolies till slips dating back to the year 1995 that women keep in their handbags.
The apple of my life is particularly guilty of this. Looking for some documents recently, she unearthed a copy of minutes from when she was a house committee member during her student days in Cape Town, 20 years ago.
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by Stuart on Apr 24th, 2012
Where’s The Chicken? is a book about making South Africa safe, written by two experts on crime & safety and civic affairs. It is unique, interesting and potentially life-altering. But it is not a step-by-step manual with detailed instructions on burglar-proofing your house or escaping a car-jacking. Instead, it is a book designed to spark creativity and sharpen the reader’s role as a thinker and shaper.
It is a vision of best thinking for those who no longer wish to consumer ready-made ‘solutions’; it is a burst of fresh energy for those who prefer to ask different questions and find unexpected answers. It’s a book for the politician, the captain of industry and the plain old man (and woman) in the street who see their future in South Africa and South Africa in their future.
John Cartwright and Clifford Shearing are Cape Town-based academics – in Humanities and Criminology, respectively – who hold positions at the Universities of Cape Town and Bergen, and have held positions at universities all around the world, including the Universities of Stellenbosch, the Western Cape, Toronto and Montreal, and Oxford, Griffith and the Australian National University. They have both involved themselves widely in issues of civic affairs and safety and security, focusing on South Africa but having researched and written on many countries, including Argentina, Northern Ireland and Brazil.
John and Clifford are currently engaged as individual activists and as researchers in a range of projects related to community safety.
‘A brilliant idea for a book. Profound and also very accessible’
– Dr Mamphela Ramphele, Medical Doctor, Anthropologist, University
Vice-Chancellor, World Bank Director, Director of Companies, Citizen Activist
‘The country’s traditional approach to fighting crime – with the state taking the lead by largely responding to crime – has failed. Needed is a focus on the underlying or root causes of crime and insecurity in South Africa… Where’s The Chicken? is a call to action for all South Africans to take responsibility for their and their communities’ safety and security. Written in an easy-to-read style, the book is practical in its advice and optimistic in its outlook’
– Martin Schönteich,National Criminal Justice Reform, Open Society Justice Initiative, New York
‘Cartwright and Shearing make us stop and think anew about crime, safety and security in an insightful, provocative and crystal-clear text that should be of inestimable value, not only in shaping policy and practice in South Africa, but also in many other countries across the globe’
– Professor Maurice Punch, King’s College London and London School of Economics
‘Where’s The Chicken? is an exemplary example of how to turn reams of criminology and social theory into a workable, practical guidebook that all South Africans can not only understand but also apply in their day-to-day lives… It’s about finding sustainable, alternative solutions to crime instead of merely reacting with short-term knee-jerk responses. It’s a book all South Africans urgently need to read to become active citizens’
– Melany Bendix, Editor, The Big Issue South Africa
‘This book will inspire all South Africans, and everyone who is interested in South Africa, to think more smartly about how we create a safer society’
– Monique Marks, Community Development Programme, University of KwaZulu-Natal
‘Down-to-earth, no-nonsense, creative and sometimes even amusing ideas about how we might think differently about, and respond differently to, crime and its implications for our safety and security’
– Professor Philip Stenning, School of Criminology and Criminal Justice, Griffith University, Brisbane, and Associate of the Australian Research Council Centre of Excellence in Policing and Security
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