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Archive for March, 2012

Ndumiso Ngcobo Prefers Einstein’s Intellectual Look to That of the Tenderpreneur Fashionista

Is It Coz I'm Black?Some of My Best Friends are WhiteHis latest column in the Sunday Times:

In the circles in which I move I am notorious for not possessing an iota of dress sense. I am often the butt of jokes and many a snide remark as a result. What most of them don’t realise is that I actually have an acute appreciation of style.

What seems like a lack of style to the untrained eye is actually a meticulously assembled look that I call deliberate incompetence. It conveys the message: “Too busy contemplating the mysteries of the cosmos to bother with clothes”.

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Is it Cos I’m Black?

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Some of My Best Friends are White


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Ndumiso Ngcobo Considers the Dreaded “E Word” – Exercise

Is It Coz I'm Black?Some of My Best Friends are WhiteHis latest column in the Sunday Times:

I have reached that age where my body is starting to get Cosatu tendencies; belligerent and uncooperative.

Ignore the obvious issues of ballooning dimensions that lead to thighs rubbing against each other when you walk, generating enough heat energy to keep the Medupi Power station operational for half a shift.

Never mind the judgmental looks you get from those Satan worshippers called thin people as you pause to catch your breath after scaling one flight of stairs. I have bigger problems to worry about.

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Is it Cos I’m Black?


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Some of My Best Friends are White


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Ndumiso Ngcobo Considers Gauteng’s New “Booze Bill”

Some of My Best Friends are WhiteIs It Coz I'm Black?His latest column for the Sunday Times:

Being the responsible citizen that I am, I downloaded the draft Gauteng Liquor Bill that South Africa’s Department of Economic Development circulated for public discussion and comment. Booze is an integral part of economic development, you see.

While I was growing up, BJVorster, PWBotha and some other God-fearing ooms ran a really tight ship in South Africa.

I’ve always loved the idea of a government that takes charge and makes all the major decisions on my behalf. It always makes me feel like my taxes are really working for me.

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Some of My Best Friends are White


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Is it Cos I’m Black?


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Azad Essa sheds some light on the #Kony2012 campaign

Zuma's BastardOn Thursday March 8, internet users around the globe woke up to a rebel African leader named Joseph Kony pasted across their facebook walls, tilting the trends on Twitter and kicking up a virtual activist storm over an issue few had ever heard of: The Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the strife of children in the jungles straddling east and central Africa.

Within hours, the online world was seemingly fit to burst at the seams with righteous indignation over Kony and his alleged war crimes, with users beating the war drums over the possibility of social media ushering in an international movement to bring Kony to justice.

The social media soiree and the fact that the campaign has brought attention to an otherwise obscure topic nothwithstanding, the organisation behind the campaign group “Invisible Children“, co-founded by Jason Russell, has since drawn severe criticism over the financial and ethical underpinning of its ambitions.

Al Jazeera’s Azad Essa spoke to Firoze Manji, the editor of Pambazuka News, a pan-African online news magazine, about the intrinsic value of the #Kony campaign exploding across the internet – and why it has drawn such scathing criticism.

Azad Essa: What are your impressions of the #Kony2012 campaign? Is it driven with the ‘right’ ambitions to forward meaningful change?

Firoze Manji: Like all seemingly charitable initiatives, the #Kony2012 campaign uses emotional appeal and a characterisation of Africa as somewhere that can only be redeemed by the West (and in this case, a white man). It presents the situation not as a political one, but one that plays to all the prejudices of white people about Africa and Africans.

Most importantly, it is based on the assumption that the people of Uganda have no agency, as if they have been silent and have done nothing but await the call of the white saviour to rally the troops. Far from being an act of solidarity with those who have engaged in years of struggles against both the LRA and the Ugandan state’s militarisation of the northern Uganda, it is premised on the ideology that Africans have no agency.

What meaningful change will this bring about, other than reinforcing prejudices about “the African savage”, someone who needs to be civilised by the white man?

What difference will it make to those villagers and farmers who have been locked up in protected villages? What meaningful change will this bring about to the grabbing of vast territories of land for oil exploitation by multinational corporations?

What this story will legitimise is the greater presence of US troops on African soil seemingly to deal with the LRA, an already defeated entity.

And I have little doubt that the US intelligence community know exactly where to find Kony: but he serves their interests greater by being free, since that justifies greater intervention.

Find the full Q&A at Al Jazeera.

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Scribd.com book preview: Zuma’s Bastard: Encounters with a Desktop Terrorist


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Ndumiso Ngcobo Combats Unemployment with “Observation and Persuasion”

Is It Coz I'm Black?Some of My Best Friends are WhiteHis latest column in the Sunday Times:

In today’s column I will attempt to eradicate the scourge of rampant unemployment in our nation in one fell swoop. I will use nothing more than my keyboard and awesome powers of observation and persuasion.

Listening to Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan deliver his Budget speech, and the president deliver his impressive State of the Nation address, the clear message that resonated with me was:”Create jobs or else.” This newspaper seems to agree and launched the “Each One Hire One” campaign some time ago. I totally agree. Employed people are usually too busy pretending to work and taking smoke breaks to burn libraries or point guns at unsuspecting folk.

My first observation will be to point out that every essential vacancy in the economy is already filled.

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Is it Cos I’m Black?


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Some of My Best Friends are White


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Joanne Hichens on The Big Thrill

Divine JusticeThis column first appeared on the International Thriller Writers website on the 1st of March. Get Divine Justice on Kindle here.

Joanne Hichens is a writer, editor and journalist.  Her new thriller, DIVINE JUSTICE, has just been released in South Africa and will be available on Kindle by the time you read this.   DIVINE JUSTICE is her third novel, following OUT TO SCORE (2006), co-authored and published in the USA as CAPE GREED, and STAINED (2009), published in the UK and France. She edited the first anthology of South African crime-fiction short stories, BAD COMPANY (2008) (also now available on Kindle), and THE BED BOOK OF SHORT STORIES (2010), both of which include her own work. She lives in Cape Town.

I asked her to tell us about the new book, her protagonist, and her thoughts about her home city.

Letter from Cape Town

I’ll never forget the thrill when the likes of Deon Meyer, Jassy Mackenzie and Michael Stanley agreed to write for BAD COMPANY, a collection of South African crime-thriller fiction short stories which I compiled and edited in 2008. And then I experienced an even deeper thrill when none other than Lee Child endorsed the book: ‘They told me there were gold mines in South Africa – and look what just came out!’

Plus he wrote in the foreword: ‘talent like this will bring pleasure to our friends and members in America and Europe and Australia…seeing the universal themes through a uniquely African lens.’ On publication, a number of South African authors joined ITW and our place as International Thriller Writers was cemented.

A highlight too, before the collection came out, was dining with David Hewson on his book tour here, not only chatting about the joys of ITW, but reveling in his enthusiasm as he stressed that BAD COMPANY ‘defied all geographical boundaries’.

Here’s the thing. We all know what it’s like to feel fear,to feel threatened, to want to protect ourselves from crime. We live under lock and key, with house alarms, car gear locks, our computers and phones are password protected – each of us is vulnerable to fraud, assault, murder, to violence and rage and hate.

Which brings me to my latest crime novel, DIVINE JUSTICE.

Featuring the inimitable sleuth Rae Valentine, the setting is Cape Town at the toe of the African continent. Voted Top Destination for Tourists bywww.tripadviser.com, Rae describes the harbour city, with Table Mountain as spectacular backdrop, as ‘a mix of sophistication and in-your-face Africa, a cross between London and Lagos, New York and Nairobi’. Indeed it’s a mix of first and third-world, of creeds and cultures, where wealth and glamour sit in stark contrast to poverty and struggle, the perfect environment to ferment craziness.

Rae and her partner Vincent Saldana, hot on the trail of stolen diamonds, get caught up in the evil and nasty world of a bunch of white supremacists under the influence of an over-the-top evangelist. The Pastor predicts that ‘the great King of Terror shall come! Fireballs from on High will heat the sea like the sun!’ and dreams of a safe haven for the ‘chosen.’

Hate-crime bastards are among the worst of the baddies as they commit heinous deeds and murder all in the name of their perceived ‘superiority’. No matter what corner of the earth we call home, every one of us is under threat from intolerance. Every country has experienced the consequences  – whether religious fanatics bomb the innocent or deranged individuals orchestrate school shootings, hate is a truly dangerous motivator.

More on Rae: she’s a one-legged ex-junkie who’s made good. Not only is she a newly badged PI (with a library of detective reading in her head to back up her one month online PI course!) she’s also a counsellor and motivational speaker. Sassy, sexy and smart, plus ‘mixed-race, an amputee, and female’, she fits every government spec for equal opportunity and sees herself as an asset to any business.

Sure, she wears a prosthesis, but as she fills out her denim jeans ‘with a bum J Lo would approve of’ and carries a Colt Gold Cup, the focus ain’t on her disability.

Fictional cops and PI’s traditionally have all sorts of vulnerabilities – they’re alcoholics, pill poppers, have bi-polar and obsessive compulsive disorders, the list goes on. Interestingly enough, plenty of disabled detectives – including the blind, deaf and wheelchair-bound- feature in crime-thriller fiction. The best known must be Jeffrey Deaver’s Lincoln Rhyme, a quadriplegic who can move only one finger! The website librarybooklists.org records a veritable phonebook of disabled sleuths of which Rae Valentine now joins the ranks. The way I see it, we are all ‘damaged’ in some way, and disability is simply an external manifestation of human frailty.

Though we may live worlds apart, though Africa, and South Africa, for many readers is a distant dream, not only is the crime underbelly Rae Valentine and Vince Saldana stumble into in DIVINE JUSTICE familiar, but so too are the intrepid duo’s all too human foibles and flaws.

If Rae’s learned one thing, in her own words, it is that ‘like the tides, like the seasons, the cycle of resentment and violence will repeat itself, then once it has played out, the rainbow – a small miracle – will grace the city.’

Rae of course, brings an element of justice to a skewed world and she and her right-hand man Vince live to fight another day. I look forward to bringing you the next in the series.

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